5 Steps to handle difficult conversations

Difficult conversations are those conversations that we would rather avoid. These conversations can be about anything from personal relationships, to work-related issues, to sensitive topics. However, avoiding these conversations can often lead to more problems in the future. Here are 5 steps that will help you manage difficult conversations:

Step 1 - Commit to the conversation

Before you have a difficult conversation, take some time to prepare. Think about what you want to say, what you want to achieve, and how you want to say it. Be clear on your goals and objectives, and try to anticipate the other person's reaction.

You will also need to choose the right time and place for a difficult conversation. Make sure you have the other person's full attention and that you won't be interrupted. Choose a private location where you can talk openly without distractions.

Step 2 - Set the climate

Express how dealing effectively with the situation at hand will be a win for both of you. For example “My intention is for us to resolve this issue together and have an even better working relationship”. Express your concerns or reservations (if any) “I’m concerned that you may get defensive and we will not be able to work through this”.

Step 3 - State your case

Stick to the facts only so the other person cannot be defensive and so you cannot jump to conclusions too quick.

Acknowledge that you may have contributed to the situation. This can be as simple as saying “I know I should have talked to you sooner” or “I have been very frustrated with the situation and know that my behaviour has been part of the problem.” that is boldy but honest.

And never assume what the other person’s intentions are. You can definitely speak about the impact this is having on you but never assume the other person’s intentions.

Step 4 – Seek to understand

Difficult conversations can be emotional, but it's important to stay calm. Take deep breaths, listen carefully (check my blog on listening skills https://www.linkedin.com/posts/catherinebardwell_listeningskills-leadershipdevelopment-leadership-activity-6943564930285522944-tgWD?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop ) and try to keep your emotions in check. If you feel yourself getting upset, take a break and come back to the conversation later. And Stop Talking! This is the step that will cause the most problems if you forget it and is usually the hardest to do.

Step 5 – Focus on solutions…together!

The goal of a difficult conversation should be to find a solution to the problem. Work together to find a solution that works for both parties. Be open to compromise and be willing to listen to the other person's suggestions.

Handling difficult conversations is never easy, but with some preparation and practice, you can get better at it. Remember to plan ahead, choose the right time and place, state your case, seek to understand and focus on solutions. Good luck!